Secrets...

2012

2012-01-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

I know I'm late but HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2011 had pass us by in a flash, it was one of the fastest year I ever experienced. And in a flash, I'm half-way through my university education. It motivates me at the thought that I'll be graduating next year, I'm looking forward what the future holds for me, and my loved ones.

I wrote down some resolutions as part of the celebrations with Barron and Joanna last year. They included

1) I wish my family bond will be closer.

Fair enough, I guessed we did grew closer but much still can be improved in 2012.

2) Improve if not maintain my school grades.

Sem 2 and 3 results are not bad! But much more can be done in 2012.

3) Treat friends with kindness and compassion

Personally, I always wished I can become a better man, and have to improve on my interpersonal skills. I hope I didn't offend any one in 2011! And 2012 will be a better year!

In 2012, I only made one resolution. Shall reveal it comes 2013! =)

And I found that someone I was looking for. And I want to thank her for giving this relationship a chance. My life has since been way BETTER with you around. Ever since being together with you, you had made the difference in my life. Action speaks louder than words, and I'll give it all just for you. Thank you Stephanie.

We had solid fun at Genting! Gosh we must be crazy attempting to take jumpshots and videos in the middle of the night in the freezing rain!

让你妈妈扭一下

2011-11-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

Exams are officially over once again. A big thanks to my classmates who never fail to distract me sweets, food, drinks, snacks, tidbits, hotdog, kopi, fish ball etc etc during the study break. Yet they are the same people whom was with me to take on this battle face on. I'm sure all of us will do well and hop on to next sem. =)

This sem had been overall quite difficult. It started well but it ended up in frantic rush. Let's recap. 2 orientation in the beginning of the sem was fun & enriching and eventually led to joining the Student Council. Not to forget the 5 assignments that was due one week after another. And to only received the assignment results less than 1 week before exams that painfully up the pace for revision, especially HMT. Speaking of that, the worst result came from HMT, I only literally JUST PASSED that assignment, that means there was no allowance or so if I screwed up the main paper. It's a paper that sent chills down my spine by just remembering the names of the people. In case you're wondering, HMT stands for History Of Management Thoughts.

Adam Smith - Robert Owen - Charles Babbage - Charles Dupin - Frederick Taylor - Frank & Lillian Gilbreth - Henri Fayol - Max Weber - Mary Follett - Elton Mayo - Chester Barnard - Abraham Maslow - Douglas McGregor - Frederick Herzberg - Kurt Lewin - Peter Drucker - Hawthorn Study - TQM and a few more I've already erased from memory. So imagine you study their names and their work. So if you think secondary school or A level history was bad, think again.

Back to reality, I'm still going through the recuperating phrase, that is to reformat my brain and return it to normal. 24 hours plus of sleep since exams ended 48 hours ago was good, but not good enough. I need more. Sleeping is the best way to take back what you've lost during exams. Hey did I mention eating? No? That's because my gum right behind the last tooth on the lower jaw is swollen right now. I sincerely hoped it's not wisdom tooth and just pure heatiness due to exam stress or something else. It's irritating me cause I can't eat, speak and SING normally right now. I had to spend 30mins to finish a bowl of instant noodle and even had to ask my mom to chop dinner nowadays into fine pieces so I can grind the food with my tongue against my teeth on the other side. I can't chew. At least it's getting better now but it still feels as though some food is stuck in between your teeth and the gum. Just hope it can recover on its own.

It's the month of November and that means birthday is coming. I will be 23 in two weeks time. Oh how time flies. I don't celebrate birthday so everyone please if you remember me, at most just send me a Happy Birthday text will do. =)

November also marks Jay Chou new album on the special date 11/11/11. Well his new songs are totally awesome. My pick for those that had been released are: Ni Hao Ma (How are you?), Pi Ying Xi (Shadow Puppetry) and Mine Mine ( the dance damn awesome!). Anyway Ni Hao Ma is really touching. It's a simple song yet it's again the awesome lyrics that blow my mind cause I can relate it to personally word for word.

墙上静止的钟是为谁停留
是不是和我一样赖着不走
你说故事已经结束很久
我忘了　向前走
我努力假装现在过得很好
现在的你看来已不需要我
也许在不同的时空还牵着　你的手

想知道你真的过得好吗
没有我也许是种解脱
将思念穿梭在宇宙数千光年
悄悄到　你身边

现在我试着习惯一个人过
也许你已经开始新的生活
陪着我的叫做寂寞
陪你的　是谁呢？

也许在不同的时空还牵着　你的手

2011-10-16T23:53:00.001+08:00

Words in pictures,

worth more than a thousand.

Devotion

2011-10-10T20:19:00.000+08:00

This will be probably the last post till exams are over. First thing to note: I'm totally unprepared. The first paper commenced on 25 Oct and guess what, that means there's only 15 solid days for me to revise everything.

It's sad to see how a friendship can start to drift apart in a matter of few days. It's even worse when you don't know what exactly went wrong. There are many things I can joke with and play around with but one thing I won't take lightly is kinship, friendship, relationship. I believed no one has ever heard me joked about these 'ships' related stuffs before and that's because I do treasure them. Not everyone treat it the same though.

I can be there for my friends everytime and for everything. I don't expect you to do the same but certain things people do can even be down to the issue of basic courtesy. That's very disheartening. It makes you question whether all that has been done is worthy, and if people treat any form of relationship casually, we can't blame them if they choose to retreat or even step out of your life. Just think about it.

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

sometimes we just forget to take a step back
i will now... stepping out.

Substitues or Complements?

2011-09-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

Just completed and submitted the last project for this sem, I'm pleased with the end-product but trust me when I say I don't feel secure about it. And it might be only 1500 words, the research is heavy and it's not doubt one of the most tedious work I had ever been through. Good to know that this module will be taken out for the future batches.

How would you feel when things we do, things we said that is not appreciated by others? Perhaps I shouldn't care so much so that the disappointment wouldn't set in so deep. Yet sometimes I smile to myself, shake my head, and that voice in me says "I can't". Haha, stupid or what. Your call.

Don't do things you don't want others to do to you.

Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you've figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
'Cause you and I, why we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better than you and your boyfriend

Well, all I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me

Well, how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you
Before I rightly explode
And this double life I lead isn't healthy for me in fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
Well, baby there's a lot that I miss in case I'm wrong

All I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still cant say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me

If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

Same but different

2011-09-18T02:17:00.000+08:00

2 mid term test - DONE!

Today paper is not as tough as I would expect it to be. But after comparing the answers, I'll be happy if I can get 15/20. I'm glad that P&M has 2 mid term test amounting to 40% of total marks. I wouldn't really want to spend a lot of time on this modules, but rather focusing my time on others such as ER! and HMT!!! =X I heard these 2 are the killers modules this sem! Not to mention we will be taking OT next sem!

5 assignments - 4 DONE!

I'm aiming to complete my last assignment by the end of next week. It's not going to be an easy one despite only required 1500 words. Hey, I've completed 2 x 2000 words individual essay already okays. One last one at 1500 words hopefully doesn't hurt. HEH Never doubt yourself and your ability to shine. =)

Sometimes I envy those people whom are born into rich family and grew up with a silver spoon. But yet sometimes I'm glad I didn't want to be like them cause I don't know if I will still be who I am today with that kind of upbringing. I might grow up as an arrogant kid, taking things for granted and never aim to achieve anything besides spending my parents money.

I want to be self-sufficient in the future, I aim high, I have high expectations for everything I do, I feel motivated when I achieved things especially I don't have the very same resources, and it will challenge me to do better each time. In case you're wondering, I'm not a money-minded person, materialistic gains are not what I seek, self-actualization is what I'm after. Yet, I can't deny that I do need money so I can give my family a good life, thats my motivation for working hard. I'm driven by the fact that I can't afford to make mistakes, can't afford to fail.

Clouds

2011-09-16T11:30:00.001+08:00

I'm really amazed at how time flies. I'm caught off-guard when I looked at my time-table realizing that there's only 2-3 more lectures to go, and then it will be the much dreaded study break again. I foresee everyone of us working harder this sem due to the crazy contents loaded in the modules. Exams is coming in approximately one month time and that works out to one week per module to revise and not to forget, there's still one more assignment to due in 10 days time. Each sem in RMIT just seems to be tougher, harder, BUT I'M LOVIN' IT!

Call me crazy, call me a lunatic, I really love when stress are built upon me, I like the challenge to see how far can I go without breaking down and motivated by how much higher the threshold can go. And though I might complain, sometimes whine about why is there so much things to do yet so little time given, but hey! isn't that's what everyone else does?

You know as much as I can handle what's going through my mind, I'm not equally adept when it comes to handling affairs of the heart. Ah never mind, shall not elaborate it today.

The Forgotten Smile

2011-09-08T22:52:00.001+08:00

It's not easy, to be me. How true is that? There are problems affecting me which I can't share, I can't tell. What I've been going through these one year plus is HELL with so many things happening, if not all, mostly are negative. The constant question of myself pursuing further studies is ringing in my head, whether had I made the right choice or not. School is fun, school is enriching, but just how many sacrifices are there behind the scene? I want to work, I want to earn money, I don't have a choice. Just when will I be really FREE?

I was on the verge of breaking down this morning. I had to withstand the heavy pressure of how this cruel reality is treating me. However I know this is what's making me stronger each time, everytime. Don't blame me for my lack of emotion, my lack of feelings, my lack of compassion, my lack of sympathy, I cannot afford to have emotions.

Sometimes I wished there's someone there, someone whom I can trust to share my life with. Yet once again I know I can't give this person anything in return, I have to be fair. Everyone yearns for love, but not everyone deserves it. Do I? Can I? Will I be able to give happiness or am I just a liability with nothing to my name, nothing in my wallet?

Would You Be There?

Experiences

2011-08-05T22:06:00.002+08:00

In midst of all the projects going on, namely ER HRM HMT individual essay + HRM HMT group projects, I went for 2 Freshman Orientation this sem. The theme was Around The World In Two Days, filled with games, fun and laughter. Met a couple of new people, and glad to know that nice people does exist afterall. The first FOC I participated was as a OGM. Along side Michael, Bevan and Sandra, our station was one of the dirtiest and wettest, and despite the combination of the hot unforgiving glaring sun, that station was a BLAST! and everyone seems to enjoy it! As the game masters, I believe all of us had our fair share of fun too

The second FOC was slightly different, I was the OGL this time. I've to admit I've never lead an OG before so I wasn't sure what was right to do or not though I had tons of experience within NCC few years back. Those days were more regimental and serious, while this was more of bonding and friendship building. I didn't want to exert any form of authority upon these freshies and instead wanted them to create their own identity. Ultimately, they are the ones who are going to be classmates and go thru thick and thin for the next 2-3 years.

Ok. Time for projects. BUSY BUSY!

Rain Over Me

2011-08-01T18:13:00.003+08:00

BLINK OF AN EYE. It's 3 weeks since school start, and not to say we're being bombared by the weight of the assignments. I have 5 projects to complete this sem and guess what, i've completed NONE yet. All the best to me. Abit lazy to continue today, shall give a more updated one next time. =)

Individualism

2011-07-19T20:35:00.002+08:00

A big word to be discussed today.

individualism
noun
1 the habit or principle of being independent and self-reliant.
• self-centered feeling or conduct; egoism.
2 a social theory favoring freedom of action for individuals over collective or state control.

I always emphasize on one thing: to be your own. What does that really mean? Personally, it means to be able to think for yourself, act on your own will. Easier said than done, few people are able to achieve it and I'm still trying to get there. There's a lot of times whereby our choices are affected by others. A good solid example will be the choice of your tertiary education after O Levels, how many pursue what they really want in their life. Choices and the decisions I'm talking about are not like our everyday choice of what to eat and where to go, I'm referring to the important decisions we make in the milestone of our lives. Choose what you need instead of what people want, we cannot attribute decision making to what others has done before. This is because everyone is different. We need to explore our own instead of following blindly. We cannot choose things that seems easy for those who has done it, that's because they have already past that stage of decision making and obviously saying negative things about their decision does not reflect good upon them, and it will cause them to have the cognitive dissonance effect. In short, it doesn't always mean by following other people footsteps is the best choice, it can only be used for references.

Another important aspect I would consider linked to individualism is Creativity. Sadly I would feel that school nowadays are killing creativity, this is especially the case in Singapore where we have heard all along that our students are exam smart and not street smart. A test has been done sometime back where Singapore student compete against the Americans and Europeans in term of academic skills and our govt is always proud to announce we are amongst the forerunners. However, when it comes to personal context and creativity, those news are always being filtered away. Creativity gives you a personal touch, your kind of style that people look for, sums up to being your charisma. It's easy to find people on the street nowadays who has a university degree, the market is being flooded with these people. Yet it is one in a million to find someone who can sell your stuffs for you in adversity. That's because Singaporeans are not ready for change, not ready in this volatile world, and (I'm NOT favoring foreign "talents" here) because I believe we can do better if there's a overhaul in our education system. My solution to MOE is simply stop telling student WHAT it is, instead let the students ask WHY. Alter the exams questions, don't ask open-ended questions, leave it up to creativity. And we need specialist whom can nurture a student's speciality or at least train the teachers to be able to spot these talents.

I'm not afraid to admit that I think myself as a creative person, that's because I'm not afraid to venture out on my own, being the first to try, first to say thing. I have my limitations too, eg. in Singapore, your room for error is almost equivalent to zero, and that we cannot afford to fail. Tell me, when this world is filled with no room to display our talents, why would people even want to try. And that's why people follow blindly, and that's why creativity is slowly being murdered.

I strongly believe there's more than one way to do things. It's just that we have not tried hard enough to think about it, and to solve it. Individualism does not mean being selfish, it's about selfless. We should not keep knowledge away from people, yet we don't want copycats cause we want people to be self-reliant.

Only constant is change

2011-07-19T00:22:00.003+08:00

I don't do things or say things for the sake of pleasing people. It's funny to see how certain people has low values inculcated in them, they live in their own life of a delusional world. Some people, do things to satisfy another person at the surface level yet bitch about them in private. Some people for that little bit of monetary reward will cast things aside such as friendship. This is what I've been observing since a long time back. I didn't know how to cherish relationship between friends, love, family till recent years, what happened then impact me so much that I changed as a person totally. So people, bring out your true self and meet the people around you. Don't be such a fake and do things just for the sake of doing it or whatsoever.

Anyway school started and attended lesson on ER and HRM already. ER and HRM seems to be closely knitted together which only made things kinda more complicated. HRM grouping is done and I'm glad to have 8 people running for the group project. Thats because this sem has too much project = too much work to be done. 韩信点兵，多多益善. Thats what I intend to do cause it's just the more the merrier and things get done faster. On the side note, i think i'm watching too much ancient shows like 3 Kingdoms and Water Margin & Art of War. I like it cause of the things I can learn from people who existed so long ago yet they can achieve so much. I tried imagining myself in their shoes and yet I think I won't be able to achieve as much as they do. Anyway, another reason is because of the strategy and man-management skills they used during those times can be applied to the current world, esp Sun Zi Bing Fa. =)

Heartbeat

2011-07-08T14:51:00.003+08:00

我对你有一点动心
却如此害怕看你的眼睛
有那么一点点动心
一点点迟疑
不敢相信我的情不自禁
我对你有一点动心
不知结果是悲伤还是喜
有那么一点点动心
一点点迟疑
害怕爱过以后还要失去
人最怕就是动了情
虽然不想不看也不听
却陷入爱里

Awesome lyrics yea?

Next Up it the NDP theme song for 2011! I'm glad they took out the FUN PACK SONG. Lack of originality seriously.

Anyway, first time I managed to get the NDP tickets and it's gonna be a fun filled family event. =) In one week time I'll be starting school and I'm so 'HAPPY' to declare that I've 5 projects awaiting for me. Shit lah! How am I supposed to be able to handle them all, WAIT WAIT NO NO HOLD'ON! That's unlike of me, I strive under pressure & ace them all. =) 2 more years, 4 more sems and I'll be done with school. Alot of people are telling me they enjoyed schling more than working, but I have to say, I'm quite the exact opposite, I'm looking forward to working once again! I worked full-time (didn't hv the intentions to study @ that pt of time) and I enjoyed every single moment of my job! It's exactly that fun filled job that craved out the interest of HR in me and therefore I chose to study. Nonetheless, jiayou everyone.

Countdown

2011-06-26T23:43:00.002+08:00

热情结束以后冷静开始以后
时间开始怂恿劝深爱的人放弃

白天不懂夜的黑

2011-06-25T23:26:00.001+08:00

好歌一曲，

难道白天真的不懂夜的黑？

不容易

2011-06-17T00:51:00.008+08:00

我从来没有正式的用华语在这里写，这还算是我的第一次。想想看，这样有点逗趣，因为常常说自己不是个很 angmoh 的人，但却每次都用英文来写，真的是互相矛盾。总觉得用华语来交谈会比较有点亲切感，生为华人，我们不该忘了自己以流传的语言。可能这也是因为成长在一个华语的家族，所以对华语也不算生疏或嫌弃。而让我最看不起地是有些人会装个自高的行为，认为讲华语很俗气并不优雅，对于这些人，他们才是没学问，没价值观的人，不懂得怜惜与欣赏华语的好处。

看到现在的小孩们，一天到晚对学习有恐惧感，我也只能为他们感到悲哀及可怜。这也显示了我们的教育制度是有待改进，从前定的双语政策对我们这一代获益不浅，可是，随和经济的快速发展，我们是不是该好好的从新检讨目前的政策？来好好的教育与鼓励并且激发新一代人对华语的热诚呢。

把话题转回来，还是言归正传，说说自己吧。不到一个月的时间，又是一个新学期的开始，又要努力去争取好的成绩单，说不准下一个打包的人会不会是我。算了，还是别想太多。感情方面，我也已经麻木了许多，而现在也比以前开得开多了，可是从前发生的事我还无法完完全全的忘记，造成现在的阴影。我还以为我能够踏实的往前走，却没想到后头却跟上了从前不愉快的回忆，有时还真不知该如何面对是好。我不是忘不了她，而是我害怕，害怕会从倒覆辙的犯下错误，也不知道我还有没有勇气再次地怕起来。能走到今天的我，只能说：不简单啊。我一直都在盼望下一次的感情，希望它是我的最后一次，因为我累了，我也怕了。

怕是怕在我不能给予她我的全部，因为有一部分的我也随着之前的那段不愉快而死去，我是真的受伤了。我已经不能百分百地说我能好好的去爱一个人。我不喜欢对于人的不公平，也不想再度伤害任何人。目前遇见的女孩都很不错，但我能给的，可能不是他们想要的，也算是我有亏于他们吧。真的有时难免会怀疑我是否天犯孤星，注定我将会活在一个人的世界里。

最近所发生的事，希望不是想象中的那个摸样。一切让他顺其自然，我还是别想太多的好。

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了

I do

2011-06-15T15:57:00.002+08:00

Original by Wang Fei, though I like this ver. better as it gives a really Jazz feeling and the tender voice of Olivia Ong. =) Things hasn't been great since I came back from Bintan. I'm getting old cause of the seasick I flet. I don't feel like vomitting but just head spinning as if I was still on the ferry. I feel good on the sea yet when I'm home, my bed seems to be floating around. The waves are not that bad but somehow I just go this motion sickness that i loathe since I was young. This motion sickness of mine has even escalated to playing LAN games outside. Perhaps it's a sign that I should stop engaging in LAN which is bad for the heart, mind and soul.

I hope I can bring you out of the shell that you had been in for so long. If not, I'm willing to be in that shell with you.
我愿意为你被放逐天际, 只要你真心拿爱与我回应.

思念是一种很玄的东西
如影~随形
无声又无息出没在心底
转眼~吞没我在寂默里
我无力抗拒特别是夜里喔~
想你到无法呼吸
恨不能立即朝你狂奔去
大声的告诉你~
愿意为你我愿意为你
我愿意为你忘记我姓名
就算多一秒停留在你怀里
失去世界也不可惜
我愿意为你我愿意为你
我愿意为你被放逐天际
只要你真心拿爱与我回应
什么都愿意
什么都愿意为你

我无力抗拒特别是夜里喔~
想你到无法呼吸
恨不能立即朝你狂奔去
大声的告诉你~
愿意为你我愿意为你
我愿意为你忘记我姓名
就算多一秒停留在你怀里
失去世界也不可惜
我愿意为你我愿意为你
我愿意为你被放逐天际
只要你真心拿爱与我回应
什么都愿意
什么都愿意为你
我什么都愿意
什么都愿意为你

Time

2011-06-10T17:28:00.002+08:00

One more month before school starts and I'm definitely enjoying this holiday more than previous sem. I'm not gonna talk about what I have done so far during hols as I had already blogged somewhere, instead I'm looking forward to the events that had been line up ahead. (Steamboat, K Box, Badminton and Hockey!). I have a few movies on my list to watch this holiday.

Pirates of the Carribean - WATCHED

X-Men First Class - WATCHED

Kungfu Panda 2 -

Transformer 3 -

The Hangover 2 -

Had quite a few plans before exams but somehow, and surprisingly NONE is being fulfilled as of now. It's all either delayed (again?) or cancelled. Kinda tired of 空头支票.

Raindrops

2011-06-04T14:03:00.003+08:00

Results are out and this time. 2 Credits and 2 Distinctions! I didn't expect this to come as I thought at best I would receive will only be all Credits. Now I'm gonna to work even harder to maintain my grades as I know, another 4 more rounds of exams & results, I'll be graduating already. I can't wait for that day to come. My heart goes to those who had to da bao the modules for another sem, for some of them are close to me. I don't know what to say except telling them to cheer up.

Anyway, Jean is expecting and her son is due in July. =) Can't wait to see Declan Koh Jake Hearn! Jean is my ex-colleague from Certis CISCO and though we only work 2 weeks together, our friendship has last till now. Did I mention she was from SIM-RMIT Biz Mgt as well? And it's nice of her to pass me a couple of her books from her sem to me. I'm grateful for that. =)

I'll be going Bintan next weekend as my cousin won a prize for a 2 day 1 night stay at a resort over there. I have never been there so I hope it will be fun. Anyway, it will be with my aunt and 2 other cousins. Anybody wanna go as well? LAST CHANCE!

MY PHONE FREAKING BLACKOUT YESTERDAY. So scary know, in the midst of replying and it suddenly went BOOMZ, blackout. I managed to convince my mum for an iPhone 4 and she agreed. Feeling bad, I decided to search for remedies online for my phone hoping some miracle happened. And it did, I reset my iPhone and dah dang! It revived. Win-win situation: Time and Money Saved. =D

1 more month to the start of school and I wanna work for awhile more before I head back to school, my savings are depleted already and I don't feel good asking pocket money from my parents. If only I can find a scholarship or sugar-mummy to sponsor me! Just kidding.

It's hard to find someone who can click with you yea, I guess one of the most important thing between a couple is communication. Be it sweet talking, chit chatting, or quarreling, what's most important is that there is constant interaction. Silent treatments will only make matter so much worse, leaving the other party with nothing except guessing. Anyway, I'm beginning to realize that I've forgotten how to love, in case you're wondering, loving is different from liking. Yes! Along the way I've met people that I'm interested in, but as it gets further and deeper, I begin to self-doubt my ability to transform that LIKE to LOVE, and that I couldn't give as much as I had done to her before. I don't want to be unfair, and it's not because I've not moved on, it's simply because - I can't give as much as I could have.

But slowly, I'm learning, and I shall and will break this barrier one day. We shall be friends first.

Just saying

2011-05-31T22:31:00.002+08:00

The new cabinet has been announced by Prime Minister Lee. Not surprisingly, MBT & WKS stepped down or should I say 'kicked out' from their role as minister. PM Lee said election is the day where people give their verdict on their government, as per a report card, to judge how well they have been doing their job. At 60%, comparatively to my school, it's sadly only a Credit grade. We claimed to have a top government filled with scholars from top schools around the globe, but when they work together, they only got a credit. I believe this GE gave them the possibly worst examination result they ever received in their life. Time to buck up, or you might not even get a pass come next semester.

Speaking of results, 2nd June is D-Day. D = Do or Die. I don't feel as stressed as last sem but this wait is excruciating. Not the first time I've said that I CANNOT afford to fail any modules right up this 3 years. If not, it will be simply a waste of time and money. I need to work, I need to earn money. Do not get me wrong, I just want to be financial independent by myself. At the age of 23, and 25 when I graduate, I need to repay back what has been given to me by my parents.

Working at the Audi Fashion Festival is super AWESOME! Though it's tough work, and lots of sweat. But I had fun working with Barron, Allen, Bevan and the rest of the new found friends. Saw a few celebrity like Dick Lee, Dawn Yeo, Jamie Yeo, and a few which I don't know their names and the David Gan.

These 2 weeks has been rather happening, as so much has been going on. I met alot of new people recently and it somehow reminds me of my work at Cisco. The busy life I used to lead, and all the fun I used to have. School is just not as happening as before. Pretty much this is why I want to take HR and specialize in people-relations (politics).

My thoughts on GE Results

2011-05-08T14:08:00.004+08:00

Final score - 6 v 81

GE ended this morning with the last result release close to 3am. My heart goes to Mrs. Chiam who only marginally lost to Mr. Sitoh at Potong Pasir. For someone who had been the unsung hero over there, supporting and aiding her frail husband in this battle and for the past 27 years, her spirit is definitely well worth the applause but, the sad truth is that, she lost. What Singapore lose is more than just a election candidate, they lost leaders who truly love Singapore in both Mr and Mrs. Chiam. I quote Mr. Chiam -

"I ask myself today, what is my dream? I can humbly say, my dream, at 75 years of age, is to be able to fly the flag for the opposition in Singapore by Fighting a Good Fight, to win a GRC in the coming elections.
Some people say to me, “Why do you still want to fight the next election in a GRC? It’s time to retire. It’s getting too hard for you.”

But you know, this isn’t a hard job.
In fact, it is harder to bring up a family with little income.
It is harder competing for jobs with foreign talents.
It is harder to look after a disabled child, or an elderly parent
It is harder to afford hospital bills for your family.

These, are hard jobs that Singaporeans are facing."

I supported opposition not because they are just oppositions. I watched, I observed, and see how the government policy had changed, and help Singaporeans over the last 5 years. In school we studied policies like fiscal and monetary, let me remind you that those are just general economical policies in nature. No doubt the PAP govt has done well on this aspect and I give them credits for this, how about issues with our healthcare, our HDBs, our CPF, our rising cost of living, influx of foreigners, and those whom had fallen through the cracks of our seemingly flawless economy? We need to have a heart, and care for fellow Singaporeans and progress as a nation together.

I voted for a voice. A voice to let the PAP know Singaporeans are unhappy. The statistic has shown PAP only garnered 61% of the votes from 66.6% in 2006, and in areas where quality oppositions (ALL Workers Party, Mr and Mrs Chiam, Dr Vincent) contested in, all the percentage are below 60%. Even ex-foreign minister George Yeo has said that PAP need to review the way it governs and transform from within. I'm not anti-PAP, this voice is to let PAP knows "It's time to buck up".

The worse thing about this elections is about those who voted blindly and ignorant voters. MM Lee did not transformed Singapore from a fishing village to a first world nation. He stood out in time of instability and steer Singapore to what it is today, he did not bring success to Singapore because ALL Singaporeans did their part. Even if all credits were bestowed upon him, we appreciate what he had done in his life for Singapore, but that does not equate to votes. MM Lee prior to elections said "it's for Aljunied voters to live and repent should they choose the other side". To me, it's for the ruling party to repent and review their actions for the past 5 years and what had they not done properly, and come back STRONGER to challenge in 5 years time. The consequences of PAP failure should not be pushed to the voters.

The Worker's Party deserved their win in Hougang, and Aljunied. Why? WP sent out a strong message this GE as compared to 5 years ago, forming an 'A' Team to contest with George Yeo's team. While George rally is all about giving him another chance to do this do that, making things right for Singaporeans, WP's stand is having an equally competent government in place for checks & balances. Who paints a bigger picture?

GE over, life moves on. I'll be graduating within the next 5 years, I need a job, a good one, I don't wish to see myself lowering my salary to compete with a foreigner. Soon after, I'll be needing my own home which might take me 30 years to pay on top of my study loan, I want to be able to afford it. Then, I need to worry for my children's future, their education, and healthcare. I need to worry for my own & parents' medical expenses especially when I grow old and becomes a liability eventually. After saying all these, is it just me worrying, or my fellow Singaporeans like you are feeling the same way? If you voted for the PAP, I don't expect you to make noise or complaints, if you voted for quality oppositions, let us do something about this when comes 2016, 2021, 2026, 2031 .. .. .. thats the least we can do for ourselves, and our children, and their children.

Over again.

2011-05-04T20:05:00.004+08:00

Great! Exams are officially over as of yesterday 1.15pm. The law paper, unsurprisingly the most technical among all the modules, is finally over and done with. Just wishing that I, will not need to retake this module. Come to think about it, Law is one of the hardest subjects I ever took. Blaming it on my poor command of English is one thing, comprehending it is another. An example, a contract must fulfill 4 elements - Offer, Acceptance, Consideration and Intention to Create Legal Relations. Prior to the 1st lesson, I would take all of the above quite literally in definition but that proves not to be quite the case. Who will actually expect 'Consideration', is not 'the time to consider about the contract' but rather the 'monetary value' attached to it.

Anyway, it's over and I have approximately 2 months to spare before I embark towards next sem. The thoughts of majoring in something where among my friends, majority are not taking it is daunting. Though I can take positive out of this, that would means I gotta get out of my comfort zone and 'remake' some new friends.

GE is around the corner and I will be voting for the first time this Saturday. I do take my vote seriously, I hope the rest of the nation does the same. Oppositions are contesting in almost every place this year with exceptions to MM Lee territory, and this makes the whole GE while worth the wait. The chances are, PAP will remain as the government as they will win the majority, I do sense that the Workers Party stands a chance in Aljunied GRC - one of the most anticipated battles among all boundaries. I pity George Yeo, who is facing this uphill task of retaining his GRC but at the same time, I wish for quality oppositions MPs (eg. Low Thia Khiang, Sylvia Lim, Chen Show Mao, Chiam See Tong) in the parliament who can provide an alternative voice for the people, as well as check and balances for the PAP regime.

For my 2 cents worth of thoughts on Tin Peiling, the youngest PAP candidate fielded along heavy weight Goh Chok Tong is that - She is not ready as of now. People would want their MPs to be a polished end-product and not work-in-progress item. And as for Nicole Seah, I wonder why are you head-spearing NSP run for Marine Parade GRC despite the youngest in the team but, I respect you for the courage to stand out for fellow Singaporeans where the rest of us are just keyboard warriors.

Relationships: A love-hate affairs for everyone. I'm officially single for now, and had been so for quite some time (4-5years maybe?). Guys, my advice is, treasure your partner and trust them. Love is what gets a couple together and Trust is what that is keeping a relationship going strong. Respect your girlfriend and treat them well, don't be a pussy and hide behind reality when shit happened. Be firm, and make the decision, assure her to feel secured. Don't leave them alone, and NEVER NEVER do so.

And girls!

If your boyfriend ever walks out on you, LEAVE HIM.

If your boyfriend ever abuses your love, LEAVE HIM.

If your boyfriend flare up his temper on you, LEAVE HIM.

Cause the probabilities are, they will do so again, and again and by the time you realized, it might just be too late. What's left in the end, your conclusion will be this - All your past embracement of him are Habits, instead of Love.

I can never be the best for you.

Cause I'm always getting better.

I cannot promise you forever,

but I can love you this lifetime.

I can never turn back time,

but I shall wait for you,

at the finishing line.

One more!

2011-05-02T00:45:00.003+08:00

One more paper to go before exam end and why it has to be Law? Though it is open book, I doubt most of us will have the time to flip through the pages and search for that one or two liners to be inserted into the answer. I can sense the moment the paper start, everyone will just bury their heads into the paper, only looking up check the time left on the clock. Sad to say, I foresee myself doing the exact same thing on Tuesday.

Being one of the module with a rather high failure rate, this paper cannot be taken lightly. The room of margin for error must be kept to the minimum if not, I can say goodbye to another $1500 next semester.

Will update again when exam ends, meanwhile, work hard everyone!

A simple reason..

2011-03-26T23:30:00.003+08:00

love or habit?

2011-03-21T16:35:00.003+08:00

March is ending pretty soon and that will mean exams is really near. We're gonna have 1 month of preparation but somehow I feel that my engine is not crank up yet, and thats not a good news.

I need motivation.

March has been pretty busy with projects, outings and birthdays. That depleted a large amount of my savings already. So I will most probably be working when the exams are over. The highlight of this month was the marketing project which my group completed 4 days in advance of the due date, which was quite an achievement as we were being bombard by tests, quizes and assignments. Well, the feeling of completing a task on time is ultimate shiokness.

The next one is Salvana birthday! Just when I thought I passed the stage whereby majority of my friends are over 21, here comes the first of my female classmates this year. Guess I'm not so old after all. =) Held at NSRCC, it reminds me of Sheldon birthday which had almost the exact same settings. This one was more crowded and I can tell that her boyfriend really went all out to make the event joyous and enjoyable for the girl.

cherish the present - you never know when it will be over

Mind Fav.

2011-03-02T23:16:00.006+08:00

吴克群-没关系
你离开的时候没有一句
没有一句对不起对不起是我太执迷
你离开的时候没有一句
没有一句话说清说清楚离开的原因
也许他可靠他实际他不一样
他能够给你安全感不只梦想
谁还在乎一起傻傻说过的那些话
没关系我们分了没关系
这不是你的问题是我没那个福气
没福气却又爱上你
就算哭了没关系这不是你的问题
痛痛快快给我一枪我没关系
没关系没关系系~~
你离开的时候没有一句
没有一句对不起对不起是我太执迷(喝~)
你离开的时候没有一句
没有一句话说清说清楚你离开的原因
也许他可靠他实际他不一样
他能够给你安全感不只梦想
谁还在乎一起傻傻说过的那些话ho~
没关系我们分了没关系
这不是你的问题是我没那个福气
没福气却又爱上你
就算哭了没关系这不是你的问题
痛痛快快给我一枪我没关系
爱情里面总有一个比较傻
要怪就怪我放不下 no~n~no~
痛苦给我幸福留给你和他
没关系没关系没关系系~ho~
没关系我们分了没关系
这不是你的问题是我没那个福气
没福气却又爱上你
就算哭了没关系这不是你的问题
痛痛快快给我一枪我没关系
我没关系我没关系没~

I'm so struck by the lyrics during K Box one day cause it reminded me so much of me 5 years ago, and so now I'm sharing it with you peeps. =) Sorry for not updating quite some time as Feb was a short and hectic month due to CNY, assignments, tests, projects all due. Thought apart for 5 years already, sometimes I still question myself, "why didn't I stop you from leaving?"

Some people will crumble when pressure builds upon them. I admit I used to giving in to pressure and letting it lead me to sheer desperation. But I've learnt to be stronger mentally as years passes me by. Failures set me back, but these failures are tools for me to come back stronger next round.

I have no choice, I need to be strong.

we don't always get second chance, less to say third.

Not the same

2011-01-17T19:07:00.003+08:00

Alright, haven't been blogging recently as I fell ill during the holidays. First stomach flu and then fever came, I don't like the feeling of being sick. Nobody likes it.

Sch started again, and was bombared with a marketing project during the first lecture. Oh wells, guess this is just uni life where there's extreme contrast between work and slack.

Anyway, Hello Stranger is no doubt the best movie of 2010 and, for those who had missed it, pls buy the DVD when it's out and you WILL NOT regret it. And my first show of the year is surprisingly Jack Neo production - The Ghost Must Be Crazy. And I can only say, it was fail movie. The jokes were all predictable and lame, typical of his works.

Or maybe I just couldn't smile in that same way anymore.

The Ds

2010-12-08T00:17:00.007+08:00

Finally, results were released after such a long excruciating wait, and I managed to make it to the next semester. Results were expected with exception to Business Statistics. If you know me well, I'm not a number person, and extra efforts were put into this particular module and especially I failed the first class test with the score of 6.5/25. Surprise surprise, I managed to get a distinction for Stats!

Since this blog is more or less dead, I shall use it to blog about food, and movies, or any other interesting thing I come across.

Movie Review

(May contain spoilers)

Movie Title: The Next Three Days

Starring: Russell Crowne, Liam Neeson, Elizabeth Banks

Duration: 122 minutes

As the tagline suggest, "Lose who you are to save what you love". Just how many people are willing to do that. Wrongly framed for murder, John's wife, Lara, is being imprisoned for life at jail, and when every appeal fails to get her out, John took the tough route - Prison Break. The first half of the story goes to the planning phase, which is quite boring. Audience would prefer to see more actions, rather than talking talking and more talking. The second half is the break itself, it kinda sucks when you go through so much planning but the break was simply too easy. The pursue/chase scene was alright as there was some intense moments that makes you think if they would escape or not, not aided by the dilemma of leaving their only son behind.

Verdict: Its up to you if you would risk sleeping in the cinema for the first half. But all I could say is, the ending is predictable.

Jay's Rate: 6.5/10

Movie Title: Skyline

Starring: Eric Balfour, Scottie Thompson, Donald Faison, David Zayas

Duration: 100 minutes

Skyline is a show about alien invasion. A group of friends became the few survivors in the city after it was invaded by aliens. Expected stuffs will be some get killed, some get abducted. True enough, they did. Some pretty intense moments, some funny ones. Nuff said. I'm still waiting for one alien show that eclipse Independence Day, and clearly, Skyline is way too off the comparison chart.

Verdict: Unless you seriously have nothing else to watch, or nothing better to do.

Jay's Rate: 3/10

I tried

2010-11-21T01:05:00.003+08:00

I love it when a plan comes through. But absolutely hate it when it fails. So much hard work was place in this, yet all it takes is an irresponsible act and makes it crumble. I'm quite anal when it comes to time. Usually I'm pissed with people who show up late and does not inform me beforehand, but I will curse and swear at people who agreed meet but didn't show up, plus w/o informing. Nonetheless, I shall just take it as a lesson learnt, and ensure this doesn't happens again.

Birthday came, and it was a great day out with Barron, Allen, Benson, Amanda, Salvana who surprised me by showing up at K Box though I know the latter 3 doesn't sing. Thanks for the cake as well! It was very much appreciated for all your efforts. =)

Anyway, CSC didn't make it to the semi-finals. But well played guys, and it was nice to know all of you. It was a personal feat to finish top of the club with 10 goals in 10 matches. I'll be back for more next season.

Holiday has been a breeze, spending but not earning. Well, I should start looking for something to do if not I will just rot at home, doing nothing except watching soccer, and movies? Headed to PartyWorld with Joanna and Barron today! It has been a K-craze recently and I can officially announce that my voice, is gone. Then went down to Lau Pat Sat to have dinner and gosh, I simply love the BBQ prawns, considering the price I paid for it.

祝我生日快乐

2010-11-18T12:11:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to myself.
I still remember what happened 4 years ago.
Yes, our last date together was on the eve of my birthday.

And, my wish didn't came true after all.

I Am Exhausted

2010-10-28T18:50:00.002+08:00

University life is indeed different. The pressure is higher compared to A and O Levels. I've to cope with not having any tutorial session, and having to work plus constant revision independently. Just 4 months into the term, I'm exhausted midway through the examinations.

Well, the worse is over, which was the Stats paper. I wasn't a mathematician to begin with, and the last time I ever pass my Math was in PSLE. That was exactly, 10 years ago. I put in a lot of effort in bid to achieve a breakthrough for Stats, and I hope I did prepared myself. I was quietly confident for the Accounting paper. Stats was a little more intense, I had to brace for the worse.

I'm tired. I slept quite a lot of hours from yesterday, maybe close to 13 hours. Now I've to focus on the next paper this Sat.

Too late

2010-10-17T23:56:00.004+08:00

Is it really too late?

Dear John

2010-10-02T17:07:00.004+08:00

Although I didn't read the novel, but it was another awesome story I've watched written by Nicholas Spark. The first being, The Notebook(2004). I wanted to watch this on the giant screen but I couldn't find the right company to do so.

Very few movies can actually touched my heart, especially for a person like me whereby, I'm very emotionless in the last 4 years. To me, this show is not heart-warming, it's heart-aching, it chilled my heart. Many scenes in the show opened the floodgates of memories of us in my mind.

The movie is about the promises between John & Savannah, and where this particular couple spend their time away from each others more than in each other embraces. Time - playing the crucial role, flashes past during happy times, yet serving as a tool of torture when they are apart. Eventually, faith was lost, and Savannah left. John was, devastated.

Savannah began a new life with Tim, and John continued to serve in the Army for years. And they met again when John's father suffered a stroke and eventually passed. I feel for John because he really deserved more than just a breakup letter. But poor Savannah must had a tougher decision to make when she wanted to leave him. If I just replace the names here, it would be the same story for you and me.

"Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. And although this is the way all stories unfold, I still can't believe that ours didn't go on forever."
— Nicholas Sparks (Dear John)

It's not a 3mins hotness thing

2010-10-01T11:30:00.010+08:00

I'm surprised by the people around me after seeing how they look and treat relationships, lightly.

Some people can fall in love easily, love at first sight.

Some people took a lifetime to search for who they want.

Some can't resist the temptations of being in love.

Some resisted because they are afraid of love.

Some people say they love this person but their actions love another.

Some are just, desperate for love.

I always believed that friendship is necessary as a base before a couple can get together. The term "Boyfriend / Girlfriend" has the word "FRIEND" in them. No doubt they are your lover, they must be your friend as well. Without friendship, without knowing how each other is, and just simply liking the person on there and then, is nothing but just a facade.

that awkward moment..

2010-09-20T18:00:00.003+08:00

I doubt you will ever read this space anymore. It was once the tools of communication whenever we had any bad moments, as well as memorable good ones. Now, it's just a place for me blabber my nonsense, and to craft my deep misses for you.

I know I didn't handle our incident properly almost 4 years ago. And I let the damage went out of control, causing more hurt to you than I've loved. On-going 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010.. As I count the years and, flipped the memory book that depicted those lovely moments, I regretted. Regretted for not holding you close when you wanted to let go. Regretted for not trying harder to persuade you to stay. Regretted for what has become of us now.

Strangers. That's right.

I still read your blog, sometimes all the way back to 2006. And I felt down, yet happy, knowing that you're doing well, loving well, and being loved well. You know I still wishes you Happy Birthday every year and Happy Anniversary every month, till somewhere last year I've decided to keep all these wishes to myself. It's hard, day by day, that burden of missing you piles. So much so I tried my best to suppress it, and sealed it within that broken heart, it was grew too overwhelming for me to handle, I was crushed inside. My heart, wrenched.

I know I had to let you go. But how? I tried to move on but those memories are catching up with me each time I ran away from them. Yes I've tried to channel these feelings elsewhere, but I couldn't give my 100%. I just can't. Promises are just a convenient way to lie. And I used to believe in them that they were never meant to be broken. I was wrong, and you were gone.

What if... I've only met you further on in life? Things might have been so much different. Sometimes I wonder if we did indeed met too early. Our immaturity, insecurity then, causes our relationship to falter like a fallen leaf. I've nobody to blame, but myself, and shouldering these responsibility will be my punishment for not holding you close enough and convincing you, to stay then. At very least, it will make me feel better.

If time were to be reverse, would you still choose to leave?

21 ongoing 22...

2010-09-16T23:36:00.003+08:00

It's has been long since I last posted new entries.

2010 is ending in a blink of the eye. It's already September and it's hard for me to believe what life has installed for me thus far. I realized, I didn't had a good long rest before.

Not at all.

Ever since the end of O Levels, I've been working, then moving on after A Levels, work again, enlisted into Army and ORD-ed. Work again, and immediately start schooling. The me right now, is indeed exhausted, I need a rest.

But I can't afford to. I just can't afford to rest.

And I will continue working hard..

to be continued

Sometimes, truth is cruel

2010-06-10T23:31:00.003+08:00

The one who loves you doesn't get the chance, the one who breaks your heart does.

The Glory Old Days

2010-05-07T10:06:00.001+08:00

Just in case you guys think I'm slacking through my NS Days. Haha!

Team No More

2010-05-04T14:40:00.004+08:00

Work is consuming me.

Ironically, I feel that I do not have much to do everyday as well. Maybe it's due to the comparison with my fellow colleagues. I see people working day and night, while I'm struggling to find new things to do. I do get busy, trying to liaise with different organization and doing my daily recruitment, but at times, I'm literally have nothing to do. At all.

Yet, I don't like people to assume that I'm very free, having nothing to do. Because running events outside is not as simple as it seems. What's the point of having colleagues yet you're unable to lunch with them? How would you feel if you're constantly not in the environment you're supposed to be in? How would I have the sense of belonging then? Very often, I don't understand the topics & jokes in office because I feel like a stranger in there. I don't share the same laughter, I don't share the lingua franca. I don't even have a say anymore.

Work can be so much better if only,

1) Certain people stop coming out with ridiculous new system that doesn't work. It doesn't work because it's not necessary.
2) Work during office hours and play after working hours. Instead of otherwise.
3) Clear, or tidy my table after using it.
4) Don't make things fair for others but unfair for yourself.
5) People can knock off on time.
6) I don't have to fork out money anymore.
7) Claims shld return faster.
8) Do not decide for me if I shld rest or not.
9) Do not decide for me everything else.
10) Lastly, Pay rise - HAHA!

But, I don't see any changes for now.

This is my choice

2010-03-26T18:07:00.004+08:00

I remember when I was in Business classes, Mdm Siti will always say that changes are inevitable in any company and employee generally does not like changes. They are afraid that it might affect their schedule and any changes can result in unhappiness and uncertainties. This is happening to my department right now.

Although I wasn't very unhappy about the change, I was more of disappointed. This current change might serve good to the company, it might not. Just have to sit back and do my part, awaiting for the results to show. The good thing is, at least now the remuneration scheme sounds better and I have to depend and rely on my dear partner. And I believe we can hit all of our target.

Flying off to KL tomorrow. Hopefully, this time round, the response will be better.

The end

2010-03-19T19:24:00.004+08:00

I used to say, "good things will never happen to me", and it's very true. Even it does happened, rarely though, it wouldn't last too long for comfort. Again, this happens.

I can joke around pretty much with everything, get insulted most of the time or everyday, I often can take it lightly or don't even care. I even can joke about myself. I don't care if you people take me as a "Just for Laugh" person and totally ignore me after you ate the happy pill, what ultimately matter most to me was the ones around me are happy everyday and I will try my best to accommodate your jokes, regardless of my own happiness.

But when it comes to something with emotional strings attached, I don't like to be played around. Whatever happened to me last time was something I don't want to experience ever again. It struck me so deep that neither I can never forget that feeling, nor wants to remember it again.

It's not easy for me to finally convince myself to move on only after 4 years that incident had happened. What I get eventually was, being judged in the wrong way..

I think, nobody really cares about how I feel. All they think was I'm the joke.

己所不欲，勿施於人

The past and present

2010-01-26T13:20:00.004+08:00

Sorry for not blogging for so long. It's time for me to update a lil' of myself.

Within these few months, so many things had changed and happened that I was caught off my feet. Changes are not always bad though. It brought along new dimensions of views and opinions, it also sometimes, make us grow up. Not to say I had matured as a person, but within 3 months since I left Army, I had learnt that life has indeed got so much to offer and I'm gaining experiences from all these events that had took place.

I went straight into the workforce the very next day when I left army. I joined Recruit Express as recruitment consultant in hope and view of learning something about Human Resource as its something I wish to pursuit in my further studies. Recruitment is part of HR, so I guess, why not? The pay wasn't fantastic but to me, it's the experience that all matters most. In fact, these 8 months of 'holiday' is the only time left for me to gain some work experience as I don't wish to be inexperience after graduating from uni. Thus, I rather choose work that can give me valuable insight and lessons so that I can insert them into my CV next time and hopefully giving me an advantage from the rest.

However, things in Recruit Express didn't turn out as what I expect. HR - Recruitment in agency is so different from what I had initially expected. Not to divulge any coporate information, but an agency life isn't what I was looking for. The colleagues were great, and heartfelt thanks to Tania, Amy, Alicia and Jolene who helped me in my 2 weeks there. I did learnt alot and had great fun with you guys!

So after countless of resume sent and jobless for the next 10 days, I went for numerous interviews and finally a good offer came by and without hesitation, I joined Certis Cisco. The first impression of many people is, "EH, you become security guard ah?". I went in to the HR dept as HR officer, and it was the same job scope as I was in Recruit Express. However, this time round, what I did was in fact more than what I was doing then. Far far more than what I had expected. I was given the chance to test myself in the coporate field. And how many people of my age and experience are able to do that? I would say I'm fortunate to land this job.

Also, I was sent to Malaysia for work, the last 2 consecutive weekends and I was exposed to so many things I never had a chance to do so if I were just a normal temp staff for other company. And, there's more trips to come and I have to be on my own from now.

Worklife aside, many are wondering how am I doing in other aspect as well. Ever since December 2006, I never got attached again. 2007 was my A lvl year and I pretty much got affected by this incident and didn't do very well. 2008-2009 I was in army and didn't had a chance to know anyone new and sometimes even I tried to move on but things doesn't turn out very well. Some people say, "It's hard to find a girlfriend while in army". I second that. Nice people I have met are either attached or due to work and time constraint, it's hard to work things out. Anyway, it's also too late to look back now. While in Malaysia for work these 2 weekends, I was lying on the bed one night and I had this weird feeling. The feeling of having nobody to miss, to think about. This is the very first time I felt like this - having no one to miss.

I don't know if anyone believe in this, but my Boss, who knows Palmistry, read my love line and told me that I will meet 2 person in my life. The 1st one is someone whom I will really love alot and give my all. This particular person will be very much be part of me and we will have a great time together but the thing is, she's ain't gonna be my life partner. The 2nd person that appear is going to be my wife, but the thing is, I will still be 念念不忘 to the 1st one. Although Boss told me that she will only appear later on in my life. How true is it? I'll let life and time decide. But I got this feeling, the 1st person, had already appeared and had left.

Now, after all that had been said. Lets look toward the future. And finally, it's time to be myself again. Future will be up the next post. =)

Classico

2009-12-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
i'm watching bodyguards and assassin later

SarahOngie says:
coz i gt HD n D for my exam
nice meh! it's a hk show right

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
Congrats
yeah, i think it's a HK show
i like donnie yen

SarahOngie says:
who's tt?

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
omg
u dunno who's that
haha
did u watch IP MAN?

SarahOngie says:
yes
the wife?

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
no
the guy
lol

SarahOngie says:
donnie yen???
wad's his chinese name?

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
zhen zi dan
lol

SarahOngie says:
HUHHHH
real bomb?

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
go and die la
lol!
SarahOngie says:
LOL
ooo the ye wen guy la

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
甄子丹

SarahOngie says:
oooo

jayss - that black and white world we tried to paint is really gray - 我不配 says:
ya la
real bomb -.-

SarahOngie says:
hahah dunno la...i translate to canto become real bomb ma

the middle

2009-11-26T23:47:00.004+08:00

Haven't really been updating this blog as many events took place the last two months, ever since I touched down from Hong Kong. Anyway, Barron is yet to send me the pictures we took there and it's getting annoying. How cheap is he to say the pictures will be my birthday present, but the fact is, he's still not uploading them. It is so belated now. Save it for Christmas or for Qing Ming.

Anyway I ORD-ed for about 2 weeks and gotten back my Pink IC. Something which my dear Singapore kept it for 1 year and 10 months. And also, I've found a job and has left due to some personal reasons actually. I enjoyed working there and the peeps there are really fun. But it's just a job not for me.

So right now I'm currently unemployed and if any has any openings, do give me a call OK!?

Hong Kong

2009-09-21T14:07:00.004+08:00

Hello! I'm back from Hong Kong. Pictures are currently uploading so I will post more next round. Anw, it was an enjoyable trip and fun. It's really all about eating and shopping, not forgetting the leg aching part.

Pics soon!

I know you can be happier,
Cause you just deserve so much more.

Fly

2009-09-15T12:48:00.005+08:00

Here's some tasty treat before I leave for Hong Kong tomorrow!

Let's start with our very own DICK LEE.
Part 1

Part 2
Still Dick Lee

Part 3
Dick again.

Ok. Another local flavour.
Dear Ris Low. Bvrooms Bvrooms!

Time for some Western food.
Tell me if you have seen any better than this. Forget Susan Boyle
Stacey Solomon!

X FACTOR 2009 WEEK 1 - Stacey Solomon - Click here for the most popular videos

Lastly, not for the weak heart.
And, not so tasty afterall.

leaving on a jetplane

2009-08-22T11:20:00.002+08:00

I'm so excited. I received my ORD posting and my schedule for my medical checkup. In 3 weeks time, I will be leaving Singapore for good. For a good 5 days with Barron. I know it sound gay but if two guys can be so close for the past 10 years without falling in love for each other, gay this word is out of context here. He's more than just a brother to me.

Back to topic, 3 weeks from now, Hong Kong will be my destination. It's hard funding my own trip but I reckon it to be full of fun since both of us had never been there before. Technically, I've been there but in my mum's womb then. And 20 years later, I'm back to conquer that land. And did I mention I'll be flying by Singapore Air? They are having alot of good promotion recently so hurry snatch them up. I paid $388 nett to fly on A380.

In 6 weeks time, I will be flying again to KL. This time would be with my unique group of my fellow engineers! Other words, this would be my ORD trip. To celebrate our 1 yr 6months together and welcome the next phase of our lives.

In 9 weeks time. Needless to say, I will get back my dear pink IC ever since I surrendered on 11th January 2008. And this will mark my home-coming-for-good day.

but i miss you, finally.

you play with my heart,
you play with my mind,
but i miss you finally.

facade

2009-08-14T23:08:00.003+08:00

i just got so upset. upset at why people are always either lying or hiding things from me. i mean, don't say things that you don't mean it. like how i hate promises being made and broken. and if you said something, don't do anything thats different from it. seriously i hate it. i just had enough of everything.

honey

2009-08-13T08:48:00.003+08:00

I have tons to updates but I think I'm keeping this short. Thanks to all the drillings outside my house at 8am. What the hell! #$%&*( the bangalas. I'm already lacking of sleep recently and now they are here to disrupt. Solution? Blasting my music to counter them, luckily I have solid speakers.

NDP was not fun. Imagine you literally waste 24hrs before the event start to get ready for the event. But still managed to walk around Marina, if not I'll be so dead at my area. Oh, did a little shopping with Sam too.

Had cohesion at Holland Village Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao. Not a bad place for small groups but definitely it just seems like another steamboat dinner for us.

Anw, gotten into the soccer team of my unit!

moments

2009-08-08T08:45:00.004+08:00

In 2006, we're inseparable.
In 2009, it's totally flipped.

What is LIE?
–noun
1.
a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2.
something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture
3.
an inaccurate or false statement.
4.
the charge or accusation of lying

I'm just looking for answers. And I want things to be fair, for us, for me. There's always a reason for everything, you had yours and now it's time for me to have mine. A convenient lie took you away from me, you had a reason to leave, while I was kept guessing for 31 months. I never knew who the liar was, I shunned my closest friends and almost every single person linked between us not knowing who to trust or not. Now, I'm sorry to those people whom I've let down because of us, and again I have this constant dilemma - who to trust or who not to. Just how long am I supposed to wait before I can live my life new again. and have my friends back.

You always hated liars. You never like people lying to you. Why choose this moment to cover for them when it's time to know the truth.

-the lover died-

sexy's back

2009-08-04T09:53:00.003+08:00

Cough cough cough. I just can't stop it, the syrup doesn't help, so does the antibiotics.

Anyway, why am I online when I say it's a busy week. Answer is, I took off so I can come home and sleep on my own comfy bed rather than in camp. But the stupid thing is, I left my medication in camp. Not that smart hurr. I'm just looking for next week to arrive so I can get to clear my off days and start my countdown to ORD. Like some people say, you can't spell FREEDOM without O-R-D in it.

public enemies

2009-07-25T00:30:00.004+08:00

the funny thing is, i don't know what can i blog about. it's gonna be busy for me in the coming weeks due to NDP. no sorry ppl i'm not involve in any performance but i'm going to be there. i mean near there as part of my job. it's gonna be boring but heck it, i just want to get things over and done with asap. what's making august huge is there's so many birthdays around. and that means i have to do some shopping really soon considering the busy schedules ahead.

anyway, forked out some time to watch public enemies today. well, it's true story abt john dilinger. a famous robber in during the great depression period. interesting storyline but i guess they ran out of screen time to further elaborate the characters. if you're somebody who is not into old school american style, the show is not recommended.

ok, the retro craze is returning and i'm starting to listen some golden oldies, including the one below.

我是不是该安静的走开

我不知道为甚麽这样
爱情不是我想像
就是找不到往你的方向
更别说怎麽遗忘
站在雨里泪水在眼底
不知该往那里去
心中千万遍不停呼唤你
不停疯狂找寻你
我是不是该安静的走开
还是该勇敢留下来
我也不知道那麽多无奈
可不可以都重来
我是不是该安静的走开
还是该在这里等待
等你明白我给你的爱
永远都不能走开
站在雨里泪水在眼底
不知该往那里去
心中千万遍不停呼唤你
不停疯狂找寻你
我是不是该安静的走开
还是该勇敢留下来
我也不知道那麽多无奈
可不可以都重来
我是不是该安静的走开
还是该在这里等待
等你明白我给你的爱
永远都不能走开
我是不是该安静的走开
还是该勇敢留下来
我也不知道那麽多无奈
可不可以都重来
我是不是该安静的走开
还是该在这里等待
等你明白我给你的爱
永远都不能走开

I love you

2009-07-20T14:00:00.003+08:00

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你一种感觉
忽然间发现自己
已深深爱上你真的很简单
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法抉择喔～
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我喔～
i love you 无法不爱著你 baby 说你也爱我
i love you 永远不愿意 baby 失去你
不可能更快乐只要能在一起做什么都可以
虽然世界转个不停用最真诚的心让爱变的简单
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法抉择喔～
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我喔～
i love you 无法不爱著你 baby 说你也爱我
i love you 永远不愿意 baby 失去你
不可能更快乐只要能在一起做什么都可以
虽然世界转个不停用最真诚的心让爱变的简单

Congrats to my best pal. Barron. =)
Wishing you 2 ever-lasting love.

4040404040

2009-07-06T14:58:00.002+08:00

从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流

tell me what happened...

time is not on my side

2009-07-03T18:07:00.003+08:00

the system changes in camp and its not good. imagine staying in 14 days straight then going for a 7 days off. the offs are tempting but the confinement is not. thanks to the global h1n1 crisis. just treat it like a common flu will they? so we can forget about all this shit and get back to our normal life.

anyway, book in to a redundant friday last week (urgent called back), to realise i was not needed at all in the 1st place. waste my time totally. poor camp buddies have to endure a even wasteful period there. the thoughts of ORD just scares me. i don't know why, maybe it's because i won't have another time whereby the whole group of us can just laugh and play and wasting time together. 4 more months and that's it! also, life in camp is so boring that we spend the whole time watching tv/dvd or playing psp, or going canteen.

my ankle still hurts whenever i try any big movement with it. that means running is out and i almost sprained my ankle AGAIN (it swell though) while playing basketball on monday. i realise i can throw in a couple of three pointers but i still suck at it cuz i miss all the 2 pointers.

what is the worst thing that can happen when you finally get home on a friday morning? that is you found out that your beloved computer monitor is not working. headed down courts almost immediately to get a replacement and i spent the very money sg government just gave me. it's all worth the 20 " widescreen. =)

emo time.
i just seems to appear at the wrong moment. saying the wrong things at the right time. and vice versa. not only that, i always step into people's life at the wrong time. everything is just so wrong. all i wanted was someone special and something simple. when i say the truth, no one believes and yet when i lied, every single bit was absorbed.

i always say,
why breakup when we're the ones who chose to be together.
i really wish all couples in this world would not end up like me.
everything can be solved, it takes time and commitment.
and when promises are made, just don't break them.

and i always believe we would turn out well..

By Jury

2009-06-25T15:55:00.003+08:00

Needless to say, I've watched the sequel to Transformer. Revenge of the Fallen is totally breathtaking and I'm blown away by the actions and stunts in this package. Humour + Action + Romance + Thriller. What more can you ask for? Seriously those critics that gave it a 3 stars out of 5 deserve should try to make the movie themselves. Michael Bay is born to make Transformers!

Okay, my long holiday at home is coming to an end soon, that means I'm going back camp pretty soon. My ankle is better now and thanks to those who have been concern. I feel like ORD-ing right now already, and it's like 4months more only. Gotta start on some job and school searching. I don't wanna idle my time away after ORD.

Wonder girls

2009-06-22T16:54:00.004+08:00

they are damn good~ And I like their dance moves.

Anyway met up with Sheldon, Ian, Lynette, Caihua, Yiling and Phoebe last Saturday over at Timbre. Quite a nice place actually after hearing so much about them and never had a chance to go. Wanted to catch the band but it was too late and we had a reservation at mindscafe. It's amazing to met up after ages and seeing everyone was still the same. Although it was long since we last met, it seems like we're back in school days and the same jokes were said.

I wanna watch Transformer!

It ends tonight, maybe tomorrow

2009-06-20T16:44:00.002+08:00

Finally I'm able to regain some walking speed. Maybe I'm used to the limp or it still hurts or both. The swell gone down but the ankle is still brusing. And I guess it's time for me to go out of my house for some breather.

Had a chat with Elson last night and he's in the exact same scenario like me.

I can promise you I will love you forever,
but you just don't believe me..

ball is round

2009-06-18T18:35:00.002+08:00

I'm on a week MC. Why? I sprained my ankle in camp during a soccer game on monday. Went to Tan Tock Seng and luckily no broken bones. I was prescribe with clutches but end up declining the offer. Have been limping for the past few days and it's not good, I wanna be able to walk properly again!!!

PC SHOW

2009-06-13T00:37:00.002+08:00

What an eventful friday.

It has been long since my activities been packed from morning till night! It's so tiring but so fulfiling. Morning was the unit outcamp run at pasir ris park, haven't been running recently and sweating it out was so refreshing! Think of the great outdoor. Went home and was ready to move out again to : The PC Show at Suntec - Armed with a wanted list, I began hunting with Samuel and Singhwa. Not to forget the shitty meal at Waraku. $&*($#^%. Back to the convention hall, I have to get cordless phone, thumbdrive, graphic card and RAM. The only item i missed out was the RAM. Kinda burn a big hole in my pocket so I had to give it up. And my company went home happy as well, I supposed. Straight to AMK hub to meet Barron and my legs almost almost gave way. We caught the show - Taking of Pelham 123. Ratings = 2.5/5 Stars. Not much twist and end expectedly like any other cops vs robber shows. Headed home and! immediately worked on the phone and the graphic card, calls are made to get info on how things are done and I realise, I was a computer newbie. Thanks to DJ ZONG!

Tired, but satisfied.

5

2009-06-08T21:52:00.003+08:00

5 more months. And all these shit is going to end. I just can't wait till the day I get my IC back. Anyway I doubt I'm going to ORD on 10 nov itself instead I'll be in Vietnam playing hockey. The MI old boys are going there for a hockey festival. I wonder whats my stick and ball skills now. And at the same time, to relax and to take a breather. BUT! Vietnam is not enough. I still wanna go Hong Kong and Taiwan.

Anyway I'm on alot of extended off today and tomorrow. But I foresee I'm going to burn alot of weekends to come. =x

累了照惯例努力清醒着
也照惯例想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中不听话的就停止了
听着呼吸像浪潮拍动着
越没力越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏都难掌握
如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心
如果我变成回忆终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发蹒跚牵着你看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你我不怪你
快乐什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的最舍不得
如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心
如果我变成回忆终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发蹒跚牵着你看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你
如果我变成回忆最怕我太不争气
顽固地赖在空气霸占你心里每一寸缝隙
连累依然爱我的你痛苦承受失去
这样不公平请你尽力把我忘记

i know i know

2009-06-07T08:36:00.003+08:00

woah, back from a saturday standby in camp and trust me burning saturdays doesn't feel good at all but to compensate, i took off for the next couple of days. somehow army time is slowing down and it's not a good thing either. i'm just looking forward to being release from that place.

yesterday was the 6th.

the death penalty

2009-05-30T11:03:00.002+08:00

The death penalty came before I could defend for myself.

Ok, Manchester United didn't win the Champions League. But indeed they were outplay by their worthy opponents, Barcelona. Anyway rather a short week in camp and early book out cos' of family day and I caught Terminator Salvation with Barron. Hmm, the 1st part reminds me of Resident Evil and the last part is like any other Terminator series. But still, this one is good. Come'on, it's Christian Bale aka Dark Knight aka Batman. It's worth the watch on the big screen.

Next week will be on standby and I seriously hate it. It burns weekends. But nvm, just abit more. Just abit. And I will have to seriously think about what I am going to do right after I ORD. The short term plan was to save up some money so I can go overseas to take a breather and escape from this place. I need a long long holiday. Right after would be finding a suitable job till I go and further my studies. I'm still undecided on what course should I pursue. Business? Tourism? IT? Physcology? Argh, take a break.

Anyway met Mike on the bus ytd too. I always seems to bump into him along Jalan Kayu. Reason = He stays near there and my camp is near there too. And we should do alil' catch up more next time. Ok, sounds gay but ya, it's me.

Forget the memories

2009-05-25T17:59:00.003+08:00

It doesn't not matter anymore.

Okay, one week of off is officially coming to an end. Been pretty much slacking around at home except only going out for movie and IKEA. Night at the Museum 2 is not so fantastic afterall despite all the positive reviews I've read, or perhaps, things that can make me happy or smile has taken another definition. Anyway I bought a table from IKEA and my room is so much neater now, and the shades can't fit my windows yet, cuz I forgot to buy the assembly tools. Smart.

Going back camp in awhile time and well, less than half a year to ORD. Well done.

materialism.

Pretend

2009-05-22T16:48:00.003+08:00

This is shit. I'm on off days and by right I should be out enjoying hard but I'm stuck at home. This is just so unlike me because I used to love going out and playing hard with my friends. But somehow, the world just seems so empty.

My room needs some need furnishing. Intending to get a new TV and a computer table at the same time upgrading my computer with a solid graphic card and new RAM. However, my computer seems like its going to die anytime. Will be on lookout around Courts and IKEA.

How would you feel for having to lose somebody for nothing. Literally nothing.
Years it has been, enough to prove anything?
Or people are just afraid to know the truth cause it would bring drastic changes.
Thus, they choose just to ignore.

-Anton Szandor LaVey-

Everything but me

2009-05-20T20:59:00.002+08:00

Ytd cohesion went well and everything goes smoothly and according to plan. Well done to Samuel and co. =)

On quite a few off days this week but I feel like just slacking around at home.

Hostile situation

2009-05-16T23:18:00.004+08:00

Sometimes it's weird when certain things that only involves 2 people can end up on headlines. Well, my case is not so extreme but it did escalate a few unrelated people in. Comments, opinions, suggestions, what ever you want to call it is redundant. If anyone is unhappy with me, as I'm pretty straight-forward, just come to me. Or we can simply continue this underground war of words. Despicable? Look who's starting it.

Don't blame me for such things. Take a good look around and you'll find everybody doing the same thing. People defend for themselves and everyone close to them, well, so am I. So I can understand how you feel. Just one fine day when you people are in my shoes and fighting for your very own happiness or when you lose someone so dear, I'll be around watching and looking down upon you. So better pray hard.

Here's a quiz, what is going to happen when you're up against somebody who has nothing to lose?
Here's the clue -> I've lost everything.

this is getting exciting..

my heart is dead

2009-05-10T16:16:00.003+08:00

finally, etep is over.
it's quite normal except a few hiccups here and there.
and seriously, i think what i did was right and i stand by my own reason regardless what others think it's right or wrong. i simply don't care no more.

giving out so much and being victimised back is not a good feeling at all.

realize

2009-04-19T17:56:00.002+08:00

wow. what a dream last night. pls let this dream come true soon would you?

heading back camp for another week but this time is gonna be more relax due to standby duties. and i'm still very tired and that means i need alot of rest and sleeping time.

breathless

2009-04-18T23:22:00.003+08:00

WHAT A WEEK!
this is one of the tormenting week in camp. training intensity picked up relatively fast, so fast that I almost couldn't catch my breath. yet, i'm still happy that we pulled it through and gonna have the week ahead to recuperate from all the trainings. sadly, no nights out this week and the coming week becos of standby duties. argh! i need my off days.

anyway i change the look of my blog, it's actually back to basic, prefer it to look simple this way.
and i would like my life to be simple as well.

the love

2009-04-12T17:45:00.004+08:00

I'm currently on a saving plan, and I believe it would be a good move by forcing myself to save. And hopefully I will keep up this good habit. Oh, did I mentioned my platoon won 3 days off in a single day? Dodgeball winners plus an evening drag performance was the key.

Anyway I think I wasted this long weekend at home by watching movies and sleeping. I even had to force myself to go out ytd by myself so as to not to rot at home. That's just how pathetic I've become. I'm thinking of getting new specs.

He won't love you as much as I do.

Life

2009-04-11T17:34:00.003+08:00

I watched 2 movies in 2 days. Fast and Furious 4 and Knowing. All I can say is, both are equally disappointing, it's so bad that I don't even wanna give a review on it, afterall, it's just bad.

Lousy movies aside, had a pretty long weekend this week and could be longer if not for the sweep at Redhill on thursday morning. Oh, and I'm amazed at how dramatic some organisation can be when celebrating certain events, the live feed was like a comedy.

6 months more to ORD, and I think I should be looking for prospective jobs, and I better start saving before my lucrative SAF salary comes to a close. And I'm thinking of investing but I don't have capital, so I can only think about it. However, more likely I will head back to school after ORD. Its so strange that we can dream of what we want to be but reality is always otherwise.

sadistic mind

2009-04-04T15:39:00.005+08:00

Shinjuku incident. One of Jackie Chan best flick in recent years. Not much action from the 55 years old actor in this show but it's the quality of the plot that makes it well worth the $10 ticket price. =) A must watch for everyone!

Disappointments and more disappointments. All I want was something simple, and that's too much for me to ask for. It's seems like everytime something goes wrong, it's all my fault. Even if it's not, I'm always the one suffering from the consequences. Well, happy for all of you.

all i want was something that can last,
not forever, just this lifetime will do.

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines
Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've re-arranged
I was living in the past
But somehow you've brought me back
and I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relax
and now I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is
Don't write me off just yet

For years I've been telling myself the same old story
That I'm happy to live off my so called former glories
but you've given me a reason
to take another chance
now I need you despite the fact
that you've killed all my plants
and now I know
I've already blown more chances
than anyone should ever get
all I'm asking you is
don't write me off just yet
don't write me off just yet

Fire and Flies

2009-03-29T18:11:00.003+08:00

Okay. This week in camp is not that fun, the usual stuffs with training at an increasing pace. We have less than one month to prep for finale exercise and it's gonna be quite a busy year, considering the amount of events coming on in the second half of the year. NDP'09, F1 and so on. But the thing is, I'm gonna ORD this year too. I guess this is the only thing to look for this year. Oh! Plans are made to go Bali with FAB9. I know I know, I haven't been meeting them up in ages and I feel damn bad for skipping so many events. So, this Bali trip I'm definitely going.

Injuries ravaged my platoon at this moment, which includes my own team mates, Fish. Just hope you'll get well soon. And! Arrows have also been flying around recently, well, the so-called family is trying to kill one another.

Standby on this sunday means I won't be able to go for Ching Ming. Meaning = grave cleaning. This is one of the annual thing my family does, and every year I went. I'm sure many people nowadays don't even care about such things, they prefer their new found religion. Thumbs down, shame on you people. Boo!

Way back into love - jhs
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction and I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping ** you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration not just another negotiation

clown

2009-03-21T13:05:00.003+08:00

i'm a lonely clown,
don't have to remember me after i made you laugh.

Okay, too much food in too few days. Can you believe right after a dinner buffet at ban heng restaurant, the next day would be food hunting with barron, who had so many many cravings to satisfied. korean bbq, kfc, satay and tau huay in one night. grrr. lucky i taken my ippt and cleared my second year with a silver. and anyway, i slipped during shuttle run and wounded my right knee. #$%^&*

anyway, it haven't been a good week in camp due to all the arrows and shits flying around. not so many good weeks ahead as the new guys are coming in and we already have one batch of trainees. etap's coming and i hope my team won't get the called up. haha!

面对陌生疑惑肯定困难的生活
过去的日子仿佛偷偷地在笑我
笑我的落魄
也笑我的执着
也许吧他爱你比我多

Should Have

2009-03-15T14:53:00.002+08:00

Leaving without memories is better than leaving with regrets..

I used to put this years ago on my msn nick. This quote just popped randomly into my mind as I were about to blog. Yeah, it's pure random here.

Ok. 5 days + 1 saturday week it had been and it's bad. Recovered from shin splint and hopefully it doesn't find me again when I run the coming week. Woohoo IPPT! Gonna be a short week ahead with 3 sweeps in 2 days and a platoon cohesion coming up!

Anyway, I have a sudden craves for love shows, where most of the shows ended sweet.

I wish our story had the same ending...

terminal

2009-03-07T18:01:00.005+08:00

若不是因为爱着你
怎么会夜深还没睡意
每个念头都关于你
我想你
想你
好想你

若不是因为爱着你
怎会有不安的情绪
每个莫名的日子里
每一个莫名的日子里
我想你
想你
好想你

爱是折磨人的东西
却又舍不得这样放弃
不停揣测你的心里
可有我姓名

爱是我唯一的秘密
让人心碎却又着迷
无论是用什么言语
只会
只会思念你

若不是因为爱着你
怎会不经意就叹息
有种不完整的心情
爱你
爱着你

I love this melody.

It has really been long since I last really smile happily. Everything feel so right with you, that even if the world were to collaspe then, I would feel safe, with you. Thanks for being my love for the past 4 years.

if time were to go back,
i would still be with you,
even if i know,
you'll leave me again..

Bangkok Fever!

2009-02-28T00:55:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be a long post and yes! It's regarding my latest Bangkok trip. The day began with a early cab down to Singapore Changi Airport budget terminal (yes i flew tiger air) with the plane to depart @ 0710 10022009. And the members are! --> BARRONSOH,BOOT AND FIONA! And the guys managed to pick up some Thai before we land even though we just can't seems to get it right.

the 4 of us

the one in pink is Pondpan Somsampan! She's boot's cousin, and she's Thai. She looks like korean though.

140km/hr down to our hotel Best Western Mayfair Suites Hotel. Few wrong turns and manage to reach cause it's in some small alley. Nonetheless, the hotel is great if you're not looking for a big lobby or restaurant. The room are fantastic by the way.
our complimentary tuk-tuk

Oh ya, and we have Boot's cousin Pondpan with us for the 1st 2 days. She looks Korean but she's Thai, yes she is Thai. Time is not wasted as we begin our shopping spree as we are not able to check in the hotel yet. So it's shopping and shopping and more shopping as the day goes by. Eating by the street stalls recommended by Boot is not regretful because she just knows it all. Location in Day1? Platinum, Pratunam and 2 unknown night market.

Comes day 2 and it's we're going further away to some place which I can't recall for more shopping. However, the lunch was really good. We had this Boat noodles that cost only 6bhat each, which were like only 15cents? And we ordered like 20-30bowls?

Pondpan left us in the evening back to Changmai as she had exams and we're all feeling a lil' blue. Even though she's in poor health, she accompanied us to alot of places and showed us around. Suan Lum is the stop for the night and it ended off with a foot massage.

Day 3 was even more shopping. So we headed back to Platinum and Suan Lum to get the stuff we are short of. So I ended up buying lotsa of shorts and shirts, that are still unworn and hanging in my room now. The pace slowed down and we're just enjoying as we're done with majority of the shopping. Dinner at Bangkok Baiyoke Sky Hotel, the food wasn't that fantastic (sorry barron) but the view was worthwhile. Headed out to the spinning platform at 84th was WOOH! It was cold and chilly yet so much fun.

This is damn nice!

Day 4 came and it was rush hour! Headed to MBK for some shopping. Had a damn wonderful lunch over there which is a Korean-Japanese BBQ kind of restaurants. We ordered like no tomorrow and had our fills. And it ended up costing only $25 per person, considering the things we ate. Went on to buy some local products and watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. You know, we're supposed to go back to the hotel by 6pm cuz we need to check in by 710pm. However, our show only ended at 630. And we literally rush our way back to the hotel and there ain't even time for us to do some last minute packing. The driver was kind enough to speed, yes he did and we managed to reach the airport by 730. By then, the flight was already in it's final call when we checked it. However, we still managed to get our butts on the plane. And we left Thailand.. Oh yeah btw, this is the weight of our luggage but luckily managed to waive the fees!

the end you know

2009-02-21T18:06:00.003+08:00

Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments.

Watched 4 movies in a span of 2 weeks, and the best is still the curious case of benjamin button. draggy old school romantic show, but i like it. it's not that sad or touching but you'll feel for them as it was totally real. the real catch is the lesson learnt from the show, not how good the ratings are.

he's just not that into you - a standard chick flick
valkyrie - everyone knows the story but it's still good
pink panther - forever lame

I used to picture that i will have a girlfriend through my NS days. that's what i thought when i was with vanessa. we used to talk about it while her brother was in NS then, where she said she will cook for me cuz camp food are yucky and massage for me when i've aches during trainings, and jokes about me being botak and even washing my dirty and smelly uniforms for me. those images are still quite clear in my mind. and yes, i will never forget her and she will and always have a place in my heart. be it if next time IF i EVER have somebody else. back to the topic, i didn't have a gf for the past 1 year and 2 months, and now, a lil' more to half a year to ORD, i'm still alone. maybe it's fate that i was born to love her. right now, she's attached to somebody else. the same thing she once said to me before might be said and done for him, and yes being with him through his NS days right now, while I watch from the 3rd person view. ouch isn't it? yea, the feeling sucks, it doesn't feel good to see the one you love is not your lover. who can tell me what have i done to deserve all these? why do i always have to be the 'lesson learnt'? why is she telling me that i deserve somebody better when she's the right one for me. people always say time will tell time will tell, 4 years already, from 230405 till today. not long enough?

i don't care what people will say and think of me now. drawing negative critisism so what? at the end of the day i will lie down and return to the earth alone, like how i have came here.

so much so

2009-02-15T20:34:00.002+08:00

i thought we should have so much to talk about.
maybe this just shows how much i meant to you.
i can feel.
and i'm disappointed.

it's not happy valentine day, it's just valentine day.

back

2009-02-14T13:39:00.002+08:00

Okay I'm back from a damn shiok BKK trip. Pictures are not up yet but I don't mind going on another trip with the same company. Partly is because I have my dear boy Barron with me and the clumsy Fiona and the witty Boot who can speak Thai around,and her ability save us quite a bit of money. And! not forgeting Pondpan Somsampan ( hope i did spell correctly), who is Boot's cousin who came down from Changmai to be with us for the 1st 2 days.

I'll blog more when the pictures are up!!

Today is valentine and I'm feeling a lil' emo cuz I never had a valentine.

like i love you

2009-02-09T03:30:00.004+08:00

It has been 879845874687362 years since I last listened to S.H.E. Anyway, this song is good cause it's similar to Jay Chou An Jing.

你说我爱你太多就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空你是不是能够给我

你说我给你太多却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔是因为我太爱你..

Somethings are better said before it's too late...

Earlier on today I watched a show on Channel 8 and it's super darn touching. It's a local variety where the hosts- Quan Yi Feng and Christopher Lee goes around helping people to clean up their place and today episode is really heartwarming. Treasure your love ones. Tell them before it's too late.

Anyway, I'm flying to Bangkok on Tuesday!

damaged

2009-02-05T19:49:00.003+08:00

Just as I thought I'm on extended leave, I'm being called back for duty again. Well monday is supposedly an off day for me but too bad, duty calls and I've to go. And our Barron here don't have to work anymore because he is collecting his PINK IC today. Anyway, happy ORD! His ORD means mine is not too far away too right? The months left can be counted using my fingers, sadly using both hands.

if there one song to describe me,
我不配

Damn

2009-01-31T12:46:00.001+08:00

Plane- Jason Mraz - 'The Notebook'

I believe samuel will like this.

ICE

2009-01-25T21:36:00.004+08:00

If this is the way things are turning out to be,

Then I guess I should just sealed up my heart.

expect the not

2009-01-23T22:02:00.004+08:00

With all the hype revolving around CNY, my teammate didn't get to enjoy the good luck and joy of this festive season following an accident yesterday night right after my unit CNY dinner. And this happens, with me in the car. The car is okay, the driver, and the passengers are scratchless except the victim. Seems that she's alright with some brusies and I hope this case will put to rest soon.

Anyway, I think I need to plan my finance in a more proper way coming this year.

year by year,
i'm so alone.
no matter how much "i'll be there"
you weren't here.
do anything for the smile?
shut.

saddypill

2009-01-18T18:26:00.003+08:00

Porridge buffet well worth the <$10 I paid. Not for those who are picky with food but overall it's not too bad. 3.5/5stars. Fish joined us for Left 4 Dead. It's quite a nice game with good graphics. Been years since I tried new games, and this rocks. Headed back to Sengkang to shop for my shoes @ Metro which ended up in a huge selection headache but still managed to go home with a purchase.

CNY next week and Bangkok the week after that!

those words seems so familiar.

Im Yours

2009-01-17T00:15:00.002+08:00

Ok, time flies and CNY is like coming damn soon. It's like erm hmmm one week plus a few days away?

Anyway jeans is not on my shopping list this year and.. i'm kinda left with peanuts to shop after trying to clear my debts on the 1st month of 2009. (Thanks to the Bangkok trip arriving in feb). Still did minimal shopping and I'm still lacking a pair of shoes. Wanna get it today but then, I was involve in toilet cleaning with my mum at home. So I have to reschedule a time, and most prolly tomorrow after lunch with Samuel.

Time to fix it.

the time

2009-01-11T18:53:00.002+08:00

this weekend is exceptionally fast. credits goes obviously to the SAF. >< standby on saturday is never easy considering the amt of shows we have to watch to kill our time. anyway watched red cliff with barron soh, yes he is the guy who is going to show off his pink ic in like 3 weeks time to me and i'll be his clown victim. argh!

oh ya, happy 1 year of enlisting to me. it was not easy to come this far, alone..

half alive

2009-01-09T20:36:00.003+08:00

i hate standby on saturday.

while i'm struggling to live without you,
you're already used to live without me.

new year 09

2009-01-02T23:48:00.002+08:00

ok block leave is officially coming to an end soon, in 2 days time. oh gosh stop reminding me and why time has to pass so fast? however, came to think abt it, it's 2009 and it means ORD year. although barron will come and show me off his pink IC in feb. argh~! another 10 more months of so, i'll be free. and the next phase of my life will begin, which i had lil' idea of what to do next although i've a lil' bit of insight already. 3 more weeks to chinese new year and 5 more to my bangkok trip. i can't wait to get onto a plane but, i've a lil' phobia (cause i watched too much aircrash investigation on youtube).

sometimes even if i'm ahead, i don't win.

the last days

2008-12-29T02:02:00.003+08:00

ok, 2008 is coming to an end.
isn't such a great year in the begining where everything still seems so direction-less. especially when i'm enlisted into the army. alot of things had happened and some of which are not in my favour. the better things happened when june came, and things has lighten off a lil'.
ok, i'm randoming again.

waiting for ur return.

Coyotes

2008-12-25T16:53:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY!
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, not me! It's a good thing right? Since I don't believe in them.

Anyway, I'm on a extended block leave which consist around 10 days but 2 days has already pass! Shit, this is not good. Tomorrow will be in JB!

I'm waiting for the last day of the year. =)

You dont know me but I know me.

2008-12-19T22:03:00.004+08:00

Ok, Samuel recommended me this movie entitled "The Notebook" which he claims it would leave me in tears and tears and even more tears and maybe getting drown in it. (ok, I know it's kua zhang) Anyway, here's what I got from IMDB(internet movie database).

The movie focuses on an old man reading a story to an old woman in a nursing home. The story he reads follows two young lovers named Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun, who meet one evening at a carnival. But they are separated by Allie's parents who dissaprove of Noah's unwealthy family, and move Allie away. After waiting for Noah to write her for several years, Allie meets and gets engaged to a handsome young soldier named Lon. Allie, then, with her love for Noah still alive, stops by Noah's 200-year-old home that he restored for her, "to see if he's okay". It is evident that they still have feelings for each other, and Allie has to choose between her fiancé and her first love...

No doubt I admit it's a touching movie, but it didn't squeeze tears out of me. However, I like the way the couple speak with each other, the things they do, the joy and laughter they shared and there's this letter, that wrotes in the movie.

"My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah"

8/10 I would say, and a recommended movie to watch. =)

9/10 Windstruck!

Standby has been changed to Sunday instead and it's gonna be a short week ahead, hopefully. And looking towards my block leave which starts on 23rd Dec but, guess once again, it's a silent festive season for me.

Fly away

2008-12-14T14:12:00.002+08:00

Ok December 14. The day where my mum is coming back from Korea after a good one week. But the thing is, today marks the day I won't have to drive anymore, with the probation plate sign on the car. Seriously, it's ugly and troublesome. And for this one year, I didn't get any demerit point plus i'm now officially on 24 points! =)

4 days of break seems long but as the time to head back camp approaches, came to think abt it, it seems pretty short. Now I can't wait for block leave to come and of course, feburary. So I can fly out of this red dot. Standby week coming up means saturdays are burnt! Seriously, I was so happy when I finished my all my saturdays and now they're going to reset the system, which means, I'm on saturday again.

Ok, Barron flying off on tuesday and Charlene on wednesday. This is not good.

Bonds dont crash

2008-12-13T00:02:00.004+08:00

Alright. The platoon cohesion starts with a Ma La Huo Guo at Bugis area and ended with a movie called, " The Day the Earth Stood Still". Seems short? But I did enjoyed myself cuz it's one of the few times we're together in the civilian world.

Ok, it might seems gay but..
sometimes it's fun being kinky outside camp.

better in time

2008-12-07T16:27:00.002+08:00

i've got a question.
how do you stop a guessing game?
and how do you know if the answer is correct?
or do we have to assume what's right and wrong.
what if it's wrong?

mum and sis is flying to korea in a few hours time,
and i can't wait to get onto a plane soon!

Red Wine

2008-12-04T21:05:00.004+08:00

Finally it's like a longer weekend to look forward. Get to book out today instead due to the unit out camp hike tomorrow which I will not be participating and will be heading elsewhere for duty. Hopefully will be meeting up the rest for lunch and going to collect my passport after. I hate the queues at ICA. Grr.. And then there'll be a wedding dinner in the evening. I hate being busy on fridays.

Anyway I'm so proud of my platoon that we won the soccer league game today together with the cheer. We fought back from being a goal down and ended up victorious! And good, my voice is almost gone.

Mum and sis are going to KOREA this sunday and I'm so gonna be alone for the week to come. Thanks hurr.. But anyway, I'll be in camp most of the time. The most clever thing to do when they're overseas is to forget the house keys.

你说我不该不该不该在这时候说了我爱你..

With a little woooh

2008-11-30T19:42:00.002+08:00

Met up with charlene for her belated birthday celebration and although time was not on our side today as I had to go back to camp. The lunch, movie and the impromptu present were the highlights and hope she enjoyed it. =) It will be a better one next time round yea? =)

The crossroads once again made me unable to decide.
What's good or bad, I don't know.

Get Smart

2008-11-29T14:20:00.002+08:00

Booking out on saturday is not what everybody wants but what to do when it's a duty call. I guess we only have to suck thumb and do nothing. Standby on friday is indeed less time wasting comparing to saturdays where we literally sit there and do nothing. Anyway my passport is ready for collection but I'm just pure lazy to head down to ICA.

seriously i'm tired